


Atypical

by Donotquestionme



Category: Marvel, Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: M/M, discussion of mental health issues, movie-verse, neuroatypical Eddie, symbrock, very slight references to past abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-24 18:58:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16645934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donotquestionme/pseuds/Donotquestionme
Summary: Venom is determined to fix anything that might cause Eddie problems. But some things don't need fixing.





	Atypical

Venom busied himself, as he often did when Eddie was working on a report or article, weaving his way through various parts of Eddie’s body, looking to better understand how Eddie worked, and what things Venom could improve for him. At first it had simply been for the sake of strengthening and improving the health of their shared body, but he would admit the thrill of joy Eddie got when Venom discovered something he could fix or modify soon outweighed any benefit he personally felt from the improvement itself.

 

Eddie had practically wept with joy when Venom finally figured out how to rectify the overactive immune response that Eddie’s body exhibited when exposed to the pollen of certain plant species.

 

Eddie was usually totally (if not sometimes even recklessly) on board with almost all changes Venom suggested implementing to his body. His usual response at even suggestions wherein he did not recognize the function of (or even organ/system in question) was “Well, you can fix it if it doesn’t work, right?” Venom was often shocked at how abnormally perfect Eddie was as a host. His absolute and total willingness and enthusiasm at the idea of symbiosis down to the closest and most intricate levels, Venom had come to understand, was not just not the norm for humans, but a complete anathema to most of them. Humans craved loneliness. Or, how did they put it? Personal space? In any case, they couldn’t bear the kind of closeness that he and Eddie shared.

 

But Eddie? Eddie _reveled_ in it. Eddie _craved_ it. Almost as much as Venom himself craved it. In fact, Eddie did seem to crave it as much as Venom did, just not _require_ it in the same way Venom did. The mental pain Eddie seemed to feel at separation felt as strong through their bond as the burn of an oxygen rich atmosphere against Venom’s flesh when he was stripped from his host, as well.

 

Venom would sometimes idly wonder just why that was but, in the end, decided it didn’t really matter. All that mattered was that, by some stroke of pure, unimaginably good luck, Venom had managed to find the one most _perfect_ host on this planet. Maybe even in this whole galaxy.

 

However, there was one thing that seemed to put Eddie ill at ease and Venom couldn’t quite understand why. He was almost paranoid when it came to any modifications made to his brain. It was very odd to Venom. It didn’t just seem like it was because it was a major organ. Venom had done more than one modification on other vital organs like Eddie’s heart and lungs, and Eddie had rarely seemed over concerned about it. Even the time Venom might have _slightly_ misunderstood the subtleties of the circulatory system and caused Eddie to (very temporarily!) go into cardiac arrest.

 

Eddie rarely asked for very many details about Venom’s upkeep of his body and asking permission for most things was mostly a formality. One that, for lesser things like adjusting muscle mass or healing various injuries, had long since been deemed unnecessary by the both of them.

 

Yet when it came to anything to do with his brain, Eddie suddenly became intent on discovering exactly what it what Venom planned to do and would often research the idea thoroughly before giving the go ahead.

 

Venom understood that the brain was a very important organs to humans, in terms of function, but similarly important structures like the nervous and endocrine system seemed much less important to him. Certainly it was important to Eddie that his nerves continued functioning, but not in the way it seemed important that his brain not only function properly, but...in the same way it already did.

 

Eddie was almost obsessed that any change not in any way affect the underlying make-up of his brain, despite the various improvements Venom felt he could make to things like the annoying way humans recalled useless and often painful memories at the worst time or how inefficiently the human mind seemed to value and store information. But, for some reason, such ‘quirks’ as prioritizing remembering a certain toy lost many years ago and that was utterly useless now to remember instead of, say, where the motorcycle they needed right at that moment was parked or whether or not he’d locked the door to their apartment, thus ensuring their safety and the safety of their belongings, was a quality that Eddie attached a good deal of significance to, and therefore Venom left it alone.

 

Yet, despite this hesitance, the changes that Venom did end up making to Eddie’s brain seemed to thrill him more than almost any change. They seemed to have the biggest and most noticeable effects on his quality of life.

 

When Eddie allowed Venom to fix an imbalance of serotonin and dopamine in Eddie’s brain (after a long and careful explanation of exactly his plan and its effects), the change had been enormous. His energy and mood had improved dramatically. His overall demeanor shifted. His whole body seemed to feel the positive effects. Gone were nagging aches and pains with no discernable source. Gone was the fatigue that seemed so unaffected by sleep. Eddie also was just...happier. His overall brain and body function was just _better._

 

It made Venom overjoyed to see Eddie so happy and well. And the chemicals his brain produced without the imbalance inhibiting it were _exquisite._

 

It was for those reasons that Venom even bothered to continue looking for things to improve in Eddie’s brain at all, knowing Eddie’s wariness of it. The reward could simply be so overwhelming. It was well worth the nuisance of having to thoroughly explain himself each time.

 

Venom was certain, as well, that he was onto something that would be met with a similar rush of gratitude and improvement as the brain chemical imbalance, if not more.

 

Eddie had...quirks that Venom had come to understand not all humans did. Difficulties that other humans seemed not to struggle with. It had taken time for Venom to even realize it was abnormal. He’d had other human hosts, but never for very long and never in ideal conditions. Venom had written off the sort of dulled way Anne sensed things as being distracted by the importance of their mission. He’d been distracted as well.

 

The seams of her clothing were not constantly on her mind. The tags in her shirt did not ceaselessly prickle at her neck. The air freshener in her car did not choke her with the strength of its fragrance, nor did the sounds and bright lights of the highway so overwhelm her.

 

Venom had not gotten the chance to eat much of anything (besides a few Life Foundation goons) when bonded with Anne or any of his previous hosts before Eddie, but he had come to understand that the limited and repetitive diet Eddie seemed confined to was not shared by most humans, nor was the visceral rejection of foods that did not meet the strange and often indecipherable requirements that Eddie’s body seemed to have for food.

 

Other humans did not gag when something had an odd texture or consistency. Their throats did not close when they tried to swallow something that’s flavor was too bold or unexpected. Venom had discovered, through Eddie’s memories, that the bags of tater tots he’d so voraciously consumed upon their first bonding had been purchased because they were a substance that Eddie would often eat nothing else aside from for days if not weeks, too repulsed by the very thought of every other food, even ones he’d regularly eaten before. It was only later that Venom realized this was abnormal for humans.

 

Eddie actually appreciated the fact that Venom could eat for them. The taste and feel was so differently interpreted by his own mouth than by Eddie’s, it made nearly everything palatable to them both, a fact that Eddie had been overjoyed to discover and Venom had been more than happy to take advantage of.

 

It baffled, Venom, however. He could never find any particular reason for these various annoyances. Eddie’s nerves were not overreacting or in disrepair, yet he felt the sensation of touch so much more strongly than Anne had, to the point where it could drive him mad. Eddie’s taste buds and tongue were completely normal, yet so many foods were registering to his body like poison. His nose was no more complicated or sensitive than any other human, yet the scent of incense could give him a migraine that would lay him up for the rest of the day were Venom not there to help it fade.

 

Eddie didn’t like to talk about these issues. There was always a sense of shame attached to them and Eddie had deflected each attempt on Venom’s part to inquire about them. Why be elusive about something that affected him so greatly? Venom couldn’t understand it. But he didn’t need to understand Eddie’s caginess to understand the source of the problem, nor to fix it.

 

Venom had pondered and searched and studied but never had an answer revealed itself anywhere in Eddie’s body. And then it hit him. Not in Eddie’s body, but in his mind! Not any problem with Eddie’s actual senses, but the way that his mind was interpreting them! Much in the way the human body prevent itself from using the full extent of its strength to avoid injuring itself, the human brain seemed to moderate the amount of sensory input it registered to prevent itself from being overwhelmed! If Venom could rectify that, those problems would disappear, he was sure of it.

 

Despite this epiphany, it still continued to elude Venom exactly what it was that caused the issues. As far as Venom could tell, Eddie’s brain was completely healthy. No diseases or parasites plaguing him. No wounds or trauma. Nothing that would indicate that anything was wrong. But surely there must be!

 

Finally, _finally_ , Venom had found what must be the answer. It had taken extensive studying of both Eddie’s brain and as much information on the average human brain that the internet could supply him, but Venom had _finally_ found it. He writhed with glee, imagining Eddie’s joy and gratitude at his hard work. A cure to so many of his troubles. The feelings of love and praise would be _delectable._

 

Eddie seemed to notice Venom’s excitement and paused from his work.

 

“Something to share with the class?” Eddie quipped.

 

Venom emerged from underneath the skin of Eddie’s back and wrapped languidly around his shoulders before forming his semblance of a face. Usually he would just speak to Eddie through their mental link, but he wanted to see Eddie’s face when he gave him the good news.

 

 **“Something good,”** he hissed. **“An improvement.”**

 

Eddie quirked an eyebrow and waited for Venom to continue.

 

**“A brain improvement.”**

 

Eddie made a face and a thrill of apprehensiveness flowed through their bond.

 

Venom wrapped himself tighter around Eddie’s shoulders in a reassuring embrace.

 

**“Researched thoroughly, Eddie. You’ll like it.”**

 

Venom grinned widely.

 

Eddie didn’t seem convinced.

 

“What kind of improvement?” he asked.

 

 **“Took me a long time to spot it, but finally figured it out,”** Venom said, only bragging a little.

 

“Spot _what?”_

 

**“Your brain is...abnormal. Not an imbalance. Not a disease. Something that goes deeper than that. Something in the very way it functions. It is…”**

 

“...Atypical…” Eddie breathed.

 

Venom paused for a moment. The ease and familiarity of how Eddie said a word that, to Venom’s knowledge, was not a commonly used one, combined with a thrill of nervousness that ran through Eddie made him uneasy.

 

 **“Yes...precisely. It’s what makes sounds so loud to you. And flavors so strong. Smells so overwhelming. Clothes so unbearably uncomfortable.”** Venom allowed himself to get excited again, thinking for the possibilities opened to them with this fixed.

 

For some reason Venom couldn’t understand, each word he said was only filling Eddie with more dread, instead of relieving it.

 

“And...and what would you do about it?” Eddie said, between clenched teeth.

 

 **“We could** **_fix_ ** **it, Eddie! No more headaches after bright lights. No more having to buy the same brand of food every time or have it be inedible. No more having to check the distribution codes on soda to see if it will be drinkable! Think of how much easier it would be! We could** **_cure_ ** **\--”**

 

Eddie stood so suddenly and with such force that his chair toppled over behind him.

 

“DON’T YOU DARE!” he screamed. “DON’T YOU _DARE_ EVEN _THINK_ ABOUT--ABOUT!”

 

Eddie sunk to the floor, clutching his head. Venom could feel flashes of memories plaguing Eddie’s mind. Snippets of shame and pain, there and gone too fast to see, but long enough to sting and burn.

 

**“Eddie...what…?”**

 

“Don’t mess with my brain! I keep telling you and telling you and you don’t listen! Stay away from my head! You don’t know what you’re doing and you DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT!”

 

Venom had never seen Eddie so enraged by any of his suggestions. He never reacted with such vitriol. Even at the most grievous mistake or misunderstanding. To his horror, Venom felt Eddie’s eyes fill with tears. The dread and pain in their chest was choking them both.

 

 **“Eddie. Eddie. Eddie. Don’t understand,”** Venom moaned, devastated that he’d caused his precious host such turmoil. **“Never mean to hurt you, Eddie. Want to** **_help_ ** **. To** **_heal._ ** **To** **_fix._ ** **Like always, Eddie. Like lungs and heart and eyes. Only ever help you, Eddie…”**

 

“Brains aren’t eyes! They aren’t lungs! Brains are... _us._ Humans! My brain is who I am and I don’t need to be _fixed!_ I’m not broken! I--”

 

Eddie’s voice broke.

 

“I’m _not broken just because I’m autistic!”_

 

More flashes of memories, too fast and too suppressed to parse much meaning from. Just feelings.

 

Shame and pain.

 

A slap across the wrist when he would flap them in excitement. Screams and curses when he didn’t speak. A drop of burning, scalding hot sauce on his tongue when he didn’t look him in the eyes.

 

_I’m so sorry, dad. Didn’t want to be wrong. Didn’t mean to be wrong. To be broken. Please, dad. Please, please, please._

 

Venom felt like he’d be torn apart. It was too much. Something so important. Something so precious, so painful, but he couldn’t grasp it.

 

 **“Don’t...understand...Fixed the chemicals. Made you happy. Made you** **_better._ ** **That was the brain. You...wanted me to then...Don’t...don’t understand…”**

 

“It’s different!” Eddie insisted.

 

He then took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. Venom could feel his desire to truly have Venom understand, but his fear of it as well.

 

“The chemicals was an imbalance. A disease. Something that’s not me that affects me. The way my brain is...that’s _me._ My brain makes me who I am. It affects every part of me because it _is_ me. It’s not just the clothes I can wear or the food I can eat. It’s the way I see the world. The way I feel things. All that is who I am. If you change that I wouldn’t...wouldn’t be…”

 

**“Wouldn’t...be...Eddie.”**

 

Eddie nodded.

 

Venom could feel Eddie opening his mind to him. Letting him feel and understand what words could not describe.

 

The feeling of running their hands across something so soft it made them squeal with joy. The way Eddie would get so excited about a new story he could talk about it for hours and never get bored. How sometimes songs and sounds would echo through them like magic until they had to listen again and again. The way Eddie moved so much all the time. Always rocking or tapping. The wide, sweeping hand movements when he got excited as he talked. The way the feeling of Venom moving under their skin was so uniquely incredible. Just the way he thought and felt and talked and _was._ It _was_ Eddie.

 

Venom shuddered with horror at what he had been considering. He wrapped more are more tendrils around Eddie, clutching him close.

 

 **“No!”** he cried **“No, never ever change Eddie. Never** **_ever_ ** **want to! Eddie is perfect! Eddie is ours! Eddie is** **_everything!_ ** **We’re so sorry.  Love Eddie so much. Always be Eddie!”**

 

Venom could feel his precious, perfect host practically melt with relief when he felt the complete and utter understanding coming through their bond.

 

“I’m sorry I always dodged talking about it. Sorry I kept you away from those memories. They’re not exactly ones I like to recall myself,” Eddie sighed. “I should have just explained. We could have avoided all this. It’s just...hard getting past those insecurities sometimes.”

 

Venom cocked his head in confusion and Eddie continued.

 

“There are...just a lot of people who would jump at the opportunity to do what you were talking about to people like me. People who think that it would be better for everyone, the whole gene pool I guess, if people like me just....didn’t exist.”

 

A flash of Venom’s own memories washed over him this time.

 

_Defective! Unnatural! An aberration!_

 

_Contain! Exile! Destroy!_

 

Venom pressed his forehead to Eddie’s.

 

 **“Then we would eat them,”** he said. **“Eat anyone who tries to change you. Eddie is perfect.”**

 

“ _We’re_ perfect, love.”

 

**“We are.”**

**Author's Note:**

> Wow. This is probably the most I've written in a while. And I'm glad that it's about a topic close to my heart. I've seen a lot of Autistic Eddie headcanons floating around and I really like them all. I myself am autistic and have some serious issues with sensory stuff. A lot of Eddie's issues in this fic are based off of my own. Although, thankfully, I never had to go through aba "therapy" which I briefly referenced Eddie having gone through. It's often very hard to express to even close friends and family why, even though being autistic causes me various issues that really bother me, it isn't something I want to change or "fix" and how damaging organisations that push for a "cure" can be to people like me. 
> 
> It's not a list of pros and cons. Not a trade off of discomfort for some kind of super ability. It's just...who I am. And if I wasn't this way, I wouldn't be ME. I hope I captured that idea well in this fic. 
> 
> Obviously, I can only speak for my own experiences of being autistic and not for others.
> 
> It was weird referring to the symbiote as "Venom" in this fic and using "he" pronouns but, since it's set in the Movie Verse, that's technically his name. I do think I probably wrote his personality and dialogue more similar to the symbiote in the comics but what can you do.


End file.
